overthinking and the calm

What exactly signifies a relationship?

It is the label? or the feelings involved?

There are people who have kids together, have lived together for years, and are not married... is there relationship any different than those who have the same things but are married?

What is it about the commitment that scares us? Drives us away from being with one another? Why do some people cause us to feel claustrophobic? Is it because we feel like we cannot truly be ourselves? Or is it just the fact that you are not "allowed" to flirt or play the field anymore and you feel like you are losing out?

There are those who have been married for 50+ years, arranged marriages... they feel a different kind of love and yet have more functional relationships than a lot of people do. Does love kill the relationship? Are people so focused on how they believe another person should make them feel that as soon as that spark is gone, they run for the hills?

How do you know if anyone will stick around? Faith? Trust? Is it like those who have religion are able to believe in a supreme being or creator they cannot see? You just have to TRUST that that person will love you forever?

Does the ring, marriage, label give people that security? Is trusting your heart with someone who isn't willing to make a leap with you foolish?

Why does it feel like so many of us are afraid of how we feel? We hide it, lie about it, cry about it... it doesn't solve anything. When we hide it long enough does it really go away? Or does it just explode out of our hearts into a situation we didn't want to be in?

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So it seems like just going with the flow has put me in a very happy place. Not thinking too much about why, how come, why not... it just seems to cloud things. Relating those questions I posed directly into my life would be foolish... and in some cases, impossible. They are just random things that popped up as I began to type.

I just want things to stay the way they are. But I'm scared that they won't. If two people want something bad enough... will it work out?

Is it weird for me to say that I don't really need marriage? I feel like it is something a lot of women worry about. I just want someone who is willing to commit to me... even without the ring or the piece of paper. I just want someone who loves me enough to stay with me.